duminică, 3 octombrie 2010

It's time to get shagadelic, baby!

Have you ever felt so sad that you had to force yourself to put on a smile when interacting with others? Or felt so angry with someone in authority that you had to inhibit the urge to tell him what you really thought of him? Or felt so amused by an inappropriate comment that you had to bite your lip to keep from laughing out loud? If your answer to any of these questions is “yes,” then you know first hand about emotion regulation, which refers to the things we do to influence which emotions we have, when we have them, and how we experience and express them .. 

A few months ago, in the office that I work with three colleagues "our boss" came and asked us simply just like that: "Gals, do you ever wish you were a man?" 

Two colleagues have answered no, me and another one answered "yes " and those answers triggered the missunderstanding of him that he couldn't understand why we aren't just delighted with the fact that we're desired and admired as women... 

He said: "Don't your hearts pump quickly when men leak their eyes after you? Don't you enjoy when they look after your ass, your legs, your „boobs”?" 

Well, obviously I've never been able to restrain myself to give replies as they come and would remain unspoken in the throat, so I answered: "My gosh! Are you serious? This time your instincts are totally wrong, WRONG, boss. You know, there were so many stunning man out there, so we look after them also even if not in an equally obvious but, I haven't seen any woman who is leaking her eyes after me..(even if it happened few time, is true, but that's another story). I’ve already said above that we do it but discreetly and, in addition, it doesn’t happen with all men, really. It is normal for people, men and women, to notice and appreciate a nice appearance, body, smile, anything that "catches" their eyes. Women look at women too, even if they don't feel sexual about it. But, no! Women NEVER did and NEVER will look at a man the same way a man looks at a woman. 

I think he bit his lips while coming out of the office for not being forced to find something else to say...But then, he turned back and says to me: „Let me ask you something else, Dy! Why women love men?”

„Why, why? Because ...” And just crossed my mind to take from Freud’s theories that in his twisted mind women are men without a phallus. You can just illustrate the ridiculousness of this concept ..This, in turn, turned me onto further research into his head, a boss mind man and maybe finally understand man mysteries... 

„Ok. Listen to me! All I can say is just my opinion, and for me - a man truly secures in his own masculinity don't feel the need to display ostentatiously posing in "macho". A real man knows that his virility isn't denied by an "soft" behavior. I consider that a man is a real man when he isn't embarrassed to be sensitive and delicate, and to recognize his own vulnerabilities, when IS and IF’s necessary. A man is allowed to cry and this doesn’t make him to be less of a man. That honesty proved I think it can be seen as a real human values of the individual, and can represent his quality certificate as a man.

If the man next to me is not allowed to have weaknesses, that means I’m bound to find me onto an exhaustive list of weaknesses woman with a constant need for care, and then it's easier for a male to be a man with a weak woman than with a strong one. Her very weakness, whatever her other negative attributes, invites his natural hardness without threat. But,what sense would have us wasting time and energy trying to posing in what we don’t even want to be? 

On the other hand, a strong woman, like any other competition, is a threat to his sense of himself. A female can more easily be a woman with a strong man than with a weak one. Then men can take delight in women's strength, while women enjoy man's weaknesses – but all this on the path toward love...which is other subject, more deeper issue. 

So, we love men because they show us the stars and the moon, even if they don't really see them. Because, in all their hardness, have their moments of tenderness, melancholy. Because they have a superiority complex towards women, and we like to feel dominated, seduced. Because they seem very committed, and after they can reconsider. Because they are waiting for us more interested as more than we let them to wait. Becouse they make a lot of sex, but can make love too. Becouse they are unpredictable, like us. Or are so predictable, that make us laugh. Becouse of their pleasent smile, wicked and evelish on the street, believing that after a charming smile and few compliments they pass into our bed. Because we leave a smile on their face, and their heart beat in more than one place. Because all men are like this. Because Bono is an awesome dude. Because I can love a man for anything less for what is not and wants to look. Because I love a man as he is, but I really want to turn it into the perfect man. Because I don't need reasons to love a man."

And while he watched me I said: Becouse they have a crazy fun to watch us when we lean over the photocopier in the office or the bottom office closet where everything seems to be intentionaly put there, Boss. I really don't know why we love men?" - smiles.

My question is now: What's the fuss of looking for differences between men and women? Wouldn't one be wiser to look for similarities and try to overlook any differences which might exit?” 

He smiled , and said: "No comment!"



Anonim spunea...

Men and women both have their own advantages, and I don't think one should be jealous of the other. But, then again, what do I know about being a woman? :)

Nádia Dantas on 4 octombrie 2010, 04:14 spunea...

The sensitivity is exposure of the human soul...and a man sensitive to the life and people is all the woman wants.
Happy week for you!
kisses :)

Dyeve on 4 octombrie 2010, 09:18 spunea...

@Doug Stephens

Thank you for visit and comment!
i think you've right. belive me ..is hard to be a woman.smiles.

All the best to you!

Dyeve on 4 octombrie 2010, 09:21 spunea...

@Nádia Dantas

Hi, sweeti!
Exactilly! We must learn to live together with them too..smiles."Men are like..... computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory." :))

Wishing you a lovley Monday and the Best Week!


Ivanna on 5 octombrie 2010, 02:58 spunea...

Hola Dyeve! me gusto mucho tu articulo,mientras lo leia...pensaba en que yo muchas veces me siento asi,sobre todo este ultiomo tiempo,me siento triste.Me hizo bien leerlo,gracias x compartir,gracias x tu visita y espero que el sweater para tu hijo quede muy bonito.
un abrazo y cuidate!

Dyeve on 5 octombrie 2010, 12:03 spunea...



Lo siento que estás triste, la verdad si puede ayudar con el mayor placer.Tal vez es sólo un estado transitoria.:-)

Hablar en Twitter y Facebook. :-)
Abrazarte y besarte.Tenga un buen día!

♪. ♫♥♪.♫♥♪. ♫♥♪.♫

Melinda on 5 octombrie 2010, 18:13 spunea...

Hi Dyeve--what a lovely blog you have! I really enjoyed your post and cannot tell you how much I agree with what you said. Real men aren't afraid to be gentle, sensitive, and show their emotions. And that's what most women really do want. Most women who are in happy relationships are with me who embrace their 'feminine side' and most women who are unhappy are that way because they feel they cannot communicate with their partner. I love a man who is secure enough with himself that he doesn't even think about having to show 'macho.' My man is all man--but he's a gentle soul and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Take care,


Teresa on 5 octombrie 2010, 23:35 spunea...

I think women and men have different advantages and disadvantages to them both. Plus, there are both similarities and differences between the two emotionally and physically that help a couple meld together.

Dyeve on 6 octombrie 2010, 14:47 spunea...


Hi, sweeti! What a nice surprise to find you here.. smiles
I realize that you've found the right man and is the right man for you,because every time you have only nice words about him and.. I think you're really deep in love. So happy for you!

Our instinct plays a very important
role in determining whether our partner is suitable or not for us. If that type of man will make a good life for us as we can openly express anything without any fear,then everything will be great.

Thanks again, Melinda! Wishing you a blessed life!


Dyeve on 6 octombrie 2010, 14:53 spunea...


Yes! You're right. On the other hand you will have a better chance of leading a good life with someone who has the similar expectation. For example, you will indirectly live a better life if both you and your partner love traveling. Good behavior the behavior of a person speaks a lot when it comes to choosing a life partner. Choosing a partner who is polite, patience, caring and understanding will have a good impact towards your relationship. Optimistic outlook someone who has a positive or optimistic outlook towards life makes a better partner as compared to one who is negative or pessimistic. Emotions are contagious and optimism is what you look or want if your life. Affection choose a partner who is affectionate towards you and your family. Affectionate person is someone you feel nice and loved when you are with him or her. This will ensure that your relationship will last a very long period. Life balance how balance is your partner’s life, if they can combine working, leisure and learning effectively then he or she will make a good life partner. Someone who has a balance life will live a better life and longer. He or she is whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Although there are more factors in determining whether a person can be a good life partner but you can use the above factors as a hint when committing to a more serious relationship,right? smiles

Thank you! Wishing you always the Best!


Will on 9 octombrie 2010, 06:38 spunea...

Hi Dyeve.
Very good post ,like it very much.
most of all i think there should be equality between both,no sense of superiority ,both should be to each other a friend,partner and confidant,being there for one another means very much in a relation.But i really don't know anything about being a woman a man his brain is not build to multitasking.lol

Dyeve on 9 octombrie 2010, 10:05 spunea...


I'm not agree with this slogan:"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." suggesting that men are superfluous to women's needs. It's too feminist and aberrant. Their connection must exist. Men need a playmate, women need a loyal companion. Both need their own interests but they also need interests that overlap. They need playtime together. That's it! smiles

Wishing you a Happy Week-End!

Anonim spunea...

interesting post & the comments above are all very good and insightful, i guess it's quite difficult to find a perfect person, my view is for us all to have a good heart and look for a partner with a good heart too and work it out along the way.....and remember there is no such thing as a perfect person....

Dyeve on 15 octombrie 2010, 22:24 spunea...


you know,people in relationships often have strong expectations that their partner will be just like they are and not all the time. will not change our partner's attitudes and behaviors unless they themselves are motivated to do so and with a pure heart, of course.
everything is possible if the heart is in that relation.smiles

Thanks, Hans!


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