vineri, 10 septembrie 2010

That's what they always say ..

Since I literally have nothing else to say on this funny Week-End, here’s some funny things about what do men want from us ... So, let's start!

We try one more time to make all of you to understand us once and for all. For so long men have been divided in the name of equality, feminism and many other theories. It's over now, though! Tell your friends and their friends as the man of 90's died ... Long Live the Man of 2010-2012! ( ..sory, we just don't no after ..)

All that we are, are the result of what we have thought. .... Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. ... Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. .... Here's how things will go from now on:

1. If you think you're fat, than you really are. Don't ask us anymore! Move your butt and sign up to a gymnastics club. 
2. Learn to use the toilet lid, if's UP, lowered it back, it's not so complicated, and finish once taking, no more wining and complaining! 
3. No more trimming never short. That triggered fights unnecessary if we dare to make comments. 
4. Birthdays, holidays, Valentine days are tests to check whether or not we're able to find the perfect gift ... again. 
5. Sometimes we don't think of you. You need to know and learn to accept it!
6. Saturday = golf / rugby / football / and after again golf, of course. Something like that. 
7. Shopping is not a sport.
8. Your clothing that you wore look perfectly. Seriously! 
9. Ask us what you really want. Do not take subtle hints! 
10. Let us to be clear that: to urinate standing right in front is heavier than the urine comes just below. Even though we are very experienced may sometimes miss the target. That's all! 
11. Most men have 3 or 4 pairs of socks maximum. Then what makes you think that we are able to choose a pair of other 30 that could match your skirt? 
12. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a disease .. Should consult a doctor. 
13. Your mother is not really our best friend. 
14. Check oil and water from time to time. There are two essential elements of your car. 
15. Our relationship will never be as in the first months we went together. 
16. All we said six or eight months ago is irrelevant into a fight today. 
17. No Skirt will make you fat. Chocolate is all crap! 
18.The fact that you say that all top models are false leads us to believe that you're jealous and petty that will not stop us in any case to continue to browse magazines. 
19. Top models man with thouse dream bodies that you see in magazines are all queers!..... 
20. If what we say can be interpreted in two ways, one which will make you sad or angry, then take it to another one becouse that is exactly what we mean. 
21. Let us try someone else,too! If you want us to say that you're much better than others?
22. If's possible, we'd be grateful if you tell us everything you've to say in advertising or during breaks, because then we go to the bathroom, we look for another beer for second round or listening "experts" analysis. 
23. When we're in bed and we seem tired is because we are indeed tired and it does't mean in any way that we feel like talking about our relationship.
24. If you want a dessert after a meal, just take one. You are not required to finish it. You can taste it if you want, but then don't say "No, I can / want / should" and after then eating half from ours. 
25. A diet DOES NOT EXIST without exercise. 
26. If you are on a diet that does't mean we have to do the same. 27. The four essential elements of men are white meat, red meat, coffee and cold beer. 
28. Make sure as all meals contain a reasonable amount of elements named above, everything else falls into the category "tasteless."
29. Don't doubt our sense of orientation, if possible.
30. It's so hard to assume that men only want two things: steak and sex .. The trick is that, however you do it, you let us know that you really like doing it too ...

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