Funny morning

Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anyone.

Q: How many men does it take to fix the vacuum cleaner?
A: Why the fuck should we fix it? We never use it!

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Who gives a fuck? Why was she out of the kitchen?

Q: Why are women like parking spaces?
A: The best ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. (hmm, familiar)

Q: Why do women have breasts?
A: So men will talk to them.

Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women nuts?
A: Money.

Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to bitch at you, what did you do wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: Why do men fart more than women?
A: Because women won't shut the fuck up long enough to build up the pressure.

Q: Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?
A: If you dragged them by the feet they filled with dirt.