luni, 8 martie 2010

Let's laugh!


5 Questions Men Fear

The 5 questions most feared by men are:
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat in this?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below, along with possible responses.
Question 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
a. Football.
b. Golf.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"
Question 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh Yeah, shit-loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?
Question 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Define pretty.
e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Lotus and a Boat"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.
WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
MAN: shit.


Ram Bansal, the Theosoph on 9 martie 2010, 00:43 spunea...

My answers to your questions are -
1. How sexy you are.
2. Love is reciprocal, so please ask yourself.
3. Not at all, You always look prettier in this.
4. No, if you love me.
5. I would find somebody exactly like you.

Anderson Wasser on 9 martie 2010, 03:42 spunea...

Oh meu Deus! Por favor, não generalize!!! :)
Oh, Dios mío! Por favor, no generalizar! :)

dyeve on 10 martie 2010, 00:06 spunea...

@Ram Bansal, the Theosoph

Thans for you're visit, nice choice :)

image_of_purity on 10 martie 2010, 05:23 spunea...

question no 2...sometimes my answer would be,what i feel for you is what i keep for the rest of my that answer could make women satisfied?

dyeve on 10 martie 2010, 05:37 spunea...

@Anderson Wasser

Ehi, e so una piada, meu Deus! :P
Mui obrigado :)

dyeve on 10 martie 2010, 05:38 spunea...


I subscribe of nr.2 :))

Will on 10 martie 2010, 18:05 spunea...

Hi Dyeve.
Hahaha great !
Usually questions like that i dodge by" i don't know dear ,what do you think?" it a very usefull answer each man should learn this in kindergarten!

dyeve on 11 martie 2010, 17:42 spunea...


Agree.."in kindergarden" ?!:))

Anonim spunea...

i love all the middle buttons,..... well almost........


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