Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
Q: Did you hear about the guy who figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anyone.
Q: How many men does it take to fix the vacuum cleaner?
A: Why the fuck should we fix it? We never use it!
Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Who gives a fuck? Why was she out of the kitchen?
Q: Why are women like parking spaces?
A: The best ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. (hmm, familiar)
Q: Why do women have breasts?
A: So men will talk to them.
Q: What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women nuts?
Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them.
Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to bitch at you, what did you do wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.
Q: Why do men fart more than women?
A: Because women won't shut the fuck up long enough to build up the pressure.
Q: Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?
A: If you dragged them by the feet they filled with dirt.
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